Good Cop(y), Bad Cop(y)

It's true-- people dont want to read much. All the more reason to choose your words carefully. Im convinced that great copy is essential for a compelling customer experience. Here are two samples I came across recently, that carried me from the sublime to the ridiculous. The first is a description of a Chenille Throw from a Restoration Hardware catalog thats so evocative I practically salivate with desire. The second is an excerpt from a multi-page ad promoting Phoenix as a tourist destination. Its so pretentious and silly it makes me laugh out loud every time I read it. Go ahead, read for yourself. Then think about what kind of impression the copy on your site makes. The -lb Chenille Throw "Chocolate truffles. Triple-cream brie. Ice cream cake. All areas where more is, well more where five extra pounds is a very good thing, indeed. So it is with our chenille throws. Each is five pounds of butter-soft, pudding-rich, rayon-cotton chenille, a guilt-free indulgence, big enough to share." Now thats good copy! Combined with a lush, close-up photograph of the throw draped oh so casually on a tan suede sofa, I dont know how anyone could resist! Compare and contrast: [Im not making this up]. "Destination Phoenix Amazing what you can do here." "Open your eyes the day you arrive and believe everything you see. Our world is in constant flow and a stiff current of excitement and discovery pull you along." "Greater Phoenix is everything from shopping in world-class boutiques to dining thats equally up to task. Its lodging that may ease your body, but never relents on the imagination. And without a doubt, theres so many entertainment options, your agenda will swell with the energy of a true cosmopolitan city- tempered by years of individuality and originality." So while a stiff current of excitement pulls you along, your agenda will swell with energy. Yeah baby! Destination Phoenix? I dont think so. Id rather curl up on my sofa with a good catalog and wrap myself in a -lb chocolate triple cream butter pudding guilt-free hunk of chenille. Yum. Tips to improve the copy on your site. . Read your copy out loud before you commit to putting it on your site. Yes, every word. . If your writing skills arent "up to task," hire a professional, or at least get somebody who can edit your text. . If it sounds like "BS" to you, it will sound like "BS" to your readers. . Less is more, especially on the web.